Leaving On A Jet Plane

Is it weird that I keep forgetting I’m going on vacation tomorrow?

I keep making plans only to cancel them shortly after with an, “Oh wait! I’m not going to be here.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m actually incredibly excited for this week.

I get to leave 104 degrees of sweaty armpit hell and go to mid 70’s and night time sweater weather.

Camping, pontoon boating, family time, lots of bbq, and a live NFL Sunday night football game await me.

The only thing that stands between me and a week of North Carolina bliss is a plane ride.

A plane ride with a kid that hates sitting still, throws tantrums, and never sleeps.

*Cue scary music*

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I remember being so worried about our flight when he was six months old.

If you can recall, I made a bunch of “care packs” for our fellow passengers with chocolates, ear plugs, and a little note.

Surprisingly, he was awesome on both flights so we really didn’t even need them.

Well this time I am almost certain we WILL need them but the only chocolate I am bringing along is for me.

Because let’s be honest, nobody is having a worse flight than the parent’s of the crying screaming child.

I shouldn’t have to apologize to you for taking my son to see his grandparents.

If anything, YOU should buy ME a vodka cranberry for having to sit in the same seat as the monster.

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Those screams are going directly into my eardrums.

I’m sorry, what did you say?

I think I’m partially deaf now.

So wish me luck!

We leave bright and early in the morning and since drugging your child with Benadryl is frowned upon we will be relying heavily on The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the iPad and snacks.

So many snacks.

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Scraping Our Knees And Jumping On Trampolines

We recently enrolled Declan in MY GYM which is essentially a real life Barney and Friends play place, minus the depressed person dressed in a giant dinosaur suit making the rest of the room uncomfortable with his too long hugs.

They have organized classes that you attend once a week and free play time slots during the week where the children can recklessly abandon their inhibitions through climbing, running, and sliding.

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(Declan with Miss Elise)

It’s a far cry from my pre-baby life of scanning Pinterest all day working at a desk.

Still, somewhere in between the opening and closing circle time songs it hit me:

This is my life.

And it’s funny, because I love it.

If I’m being honest, I don’t think I ever fully thought out being a mom.
I knew I wanted to be one.
That part was a no brainier for me.
But would I work? Stay home?
Would I do homemade crafts and bake all day or would we watch a lot of tv and order take out?
It just never crossed my mind until it became a reality.
Once pregnant I was flooded with all of the information and possibilities.
Truth is, being a mom in today’s world is overwhelming.
We are expected to attend mommy and me yoga, feed our picky eaters organic flaxseed kale smoothies, and have daily Pinterest worthy activities to flaunt on our Instagram pages.

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Your kid can climb the stairs and stack cones but can he find the xylophone in your homemade flash cards?

Wait, you don’t have homemade flash cards?!

….

I’ve fallen in love with My Gym because it gives my son a chance to have a childhood reminiscent of my own.
It allows him to interact with other kids without all the overachieving bs.

There’s nothing wrong with teaching your kids, please don’t misunderstand me.

But at a stage where I can barely get him to sit still long enough to put a clean diaper on I just don’t see the production in strapping him in his high chair and forcing him to look at a C-A-T over and over again.
The childhood I long for my son to have involves learning through living and interacting as well as through books and games.
Childhood is such a precious gift and I refuse to take that away from him in order to enroll him in kindergarten a year sooner.

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Can we not even talk about kindergarten please?

He’s got at least 13 years of schooling in his future.
For now I would rather focus on teaching him kindness, the importance of being active, and how to interact with others.
If flash cards and pre-req kindergarten materials are your forte then that’s awesome and rock on!

Tell your kid to give Declan a ring when they’re done.

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Because this kiddo is just not ready for that kind of life.

So in the meantime we will be over here scraping our knees and jumping on trampolines.

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8 Things You Should Know About Being A New Mom

Being a new mom is awesome…ly hard. With all of the classes, books, and tips they give you before the baby comes you would think hospitals would have a newborn crash course where they spend another 9 months teaching both you and your new baby how to coexist. But once that bundle of joy pops out of your body you are expected to already be a pro at things you have never actually experienced like breastfeeding, changing diapers on your protesting subject, and somehow stopping the blood curdling screams of a person you just met. While I won’t be able to physically help you through these hurdles I can hopefully offer up some comfort (or maybe just a good laugh) as I share with you what I learned about being a new mom from my own personal experience.

1. TEARS WILL BE SHED:

Believe it or not, you will find that you’re crying almost as much (if not more) than your newborn. You’re going to feel like this means that you’re a bad mother or that you don’t love your baby the way you’re “supposed” to. That’s not true. It’s just that breastfeeding is hard, sleep is scarce, and I SAID I NEEDED A COTTON SWADDLE, NOT THE POLYESTER!

 

Don’t worry.

Everyone has spent the last 9 months with your hormonal ass so they’ll be able to handle a few more weeks of it.

And it will pass.

2. YOU’RE GOING TO HURT ALL OVER:

I mentioned this after I had Declan, but I feel like it is not talked about enough. 5-10 lbs. of human just came out of your who-haw. Or even harder, if you had a c-section then you just went through major surgery. You will quite literally be crab walking around your home for a few weeks wearing nothing but sweat pants and maxi skirts. Did I mention the disposable shorts they call underwear and dinosaur sized pads they give you?

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And while I wish I could tell you that you’ll look as good as she does in these bad boys 24 hours postpartum, the truth of the matter is you’ll probably be looking more like this:

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But the good news is that as your uterus shrinks back down to normal size you will start to see that go down.

3. YOU’RE GOING TO BE EXHAUSTED:

No, not “I partied on a Sunday until 3 am and I have to be at work by 6 am for a day full of meetings” tired. I’m talking about a whole new bonus level of exhaustion that you didn’t even know existed. One where you legitimately wonder how you have not died yet because it does not seem physically possible to survive off of such little energy.

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It will be overwhelming and at times you won’t know how you’re going to make it through the day, but on the plus side you will have made a new best friend: Coffee. Coffee will become your very best friend.

4. YOU WILL BECOME “THAT PARENT”:

I don’t care who you are or what you claim now. Once you have that adorable babe in your arms you will find yourself physically unable to keep your thumb off of the camera button on your phone. The real struggle will then be to stop yourself from Instagraming each and every shot you take. Because your child is the cutest baby you have ever seen in your life and you want to make the world a better place by plastering that adorable smile all over it.

 

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5. EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION:

“When I had my kid…” is going to become the most popular starter sentence you will ever hear. Most of the time people mean well but it does get exhausting having everyone try to tell you how to raise your child. They will tell you that you are spoiling your baby, not holding them right, or that you need to let them cry. Take it all with a grain of salt and remember that nobody knows your baby like you do and no two kids are the same so what worked for them might not work for you and that’s okay.

6. YOU WILL GOOGLE ABSURD THINGS:

What color is a newborn’s poop supposed to be?

Why does my baby cry so much?

If my baby is exposed to rock music will they grow up to rebel against authority?

Can you die from hearing a newborn cry too much?

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You get my drift.

7. YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF UNABLE TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN YOUR NEWBORN:

It’s not your fault you made a super baby, am I right?

But after spending twenty minutes babbling about the cute way your little one blinks and eats and shits you will notice that your company may look a little less excited than you.

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But hey, you’re totally allowed to be annoying right now.

Just make sure to remember to ask them about their lives too.

8. YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME:

Before your newborn baby it was like,

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But now that you have that bundle of joy in your arms, your life will be more like this:

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Nobody said you had to give up everything, right?!

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The Art of Being Kind: 31 Acts of Deliberate Kindness

At the end of July I committed to making the entire month of August a month of deliberate kindness.

Every single day I made a conscious decision to do something for someone else.

The amazing thing about doing anything day in and day out is that it becomes a habit.

I found myself smiling at everyone, opening doors even with a little one in my arms, and speaking with kindness to everyone I encountered.

The little things sometimes have the most powerful influence and I’m proud to have recharged my love and passion for helping others.

My dear friend Amanda also participated in this challenge with me and she blogged about her experience as well.

I encourage you to read about her journey as she taught her two daughters the power of doing good and helping others.

(You can read it here).

I loved Amanda’s post because she showed that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to go out of your way for others.

She is a beautiful soul and it makes me so happy to see her children growing up to be loving, selfless individuals just like their mother.

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DAY 1:

I left an anonymous card with an encouraging message and gift card inside for our neighbors two doors down.

DAY 2:

We bought buckets and shovels in the dollar section of Target and passed them out to kids at the beach.

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My original plan was to leave them like the photo above but as we were playing in the water I began to notice kids around who looked bored and so I passed them out.

It was so wonderful seeing their faces light up and to watch them build sand castles with their new toys.

DAY 3:

We paid for the guy behind us in the Starbucks Drive-Thru line.

DAY 4:

I made a donation for art supplies to The Sick Kids Foundation.

I really wish we had something like this here in the US, it is such a brilliant concept.

DAY 5:

At one of the parks Declan and I frequent we always see a group of mentally handicapped men and women with helpers.

They walk around the benches to get some exercise in a few times a week.

Since it’s been so hot recently, I decided to buy them some water bottles so that they could stay hydrated.

DAY 6:

I left dollar bills in some sympathy cards at Walgreens.

I figured that someone nice enough to go out of their way to get someone a card like that deserved to have their day brightened too.

DAY 7:

I frequent Target like most women so I found myself there in the dollar section once again.

This time I bought a coloring book and box of crayons.

When I paid for them I asked the cashier to then give them to the next child she came into contact with at her register.

She was very kind until I asked her to do this.

Once I had included her in my good deed she seemed annoyed and coldly said,

“Uhhhh, okay?”

And rolled her eyes.

I thought that was really interesting and also sad.

DAY 8:

You’ll see these pop up now and again.

Derek and I tag teamed on a couple days.

This day, he went and pushed all of the shopping carts into their proper place while I held Declan.

DAY 9:

We went for appetizers at T.G.I. Friday’s and left our waiter a large tip.

DAY 10:

I saw an old friend post a Facebook status about going through a rough time so I decided to reach out to her and send her a $25 Fandango gift card through Facebook to help brighten her day.

DAY 11:

I left flowers on a random car in the Trader Joe’s parking lot.

DAY 12:

We have been sponsoring a young girl named Mariella since the first time I did this challenge in 2012 but they always need more help at World Vision.

So I made an additional donation to be put towards wherever it was most needed.

DAY 13:

I went and got a massage and we gave the employees a box of cookies as a thank you for pampering people all day long.

I tried to take a picture but was in a hurry and it came out all blurred.

DAY 14:

We left mechanical pencils, pens, and a holder for the kids across the street from us who had just started school.

DAY 15:

I met my Beachbody coach for the very first time on this day at the Idea World Convention and she had very briefly mentioned that it was also going to be her birthday.

So I decided to surprise her with a cake pop from Starbucks.

DAY 16:

We made a $100 donation to ALS and also both participated in the Ice Bucket Challenge.

DAY 17:

I wrote out encouraging words on Post-Its and Derek spread them throughout the grocery store for people to stumble upon.

DAY 18:

A neighboring family recently adopted a sweet dog with a hip problem.

I love watching them play with her and wanted to do something kind for them so I left them a box of treats to give to her.

DAY 19:

There is this older man who periodically parks his truck on a busy street by my house and sits there for hours on end.

He’s got wooden crosses on the front and back of his vehicle and he just hangs out there, sharing his message with everyone who passes by.

I saw him on my way to Target (shocker) and decided I wanted to do something nice.

So I bought a thank you card, bottle of water, and bag of chocolate chip cookies.

I wrote in the card and made my way back to the spot only to find him gone.

Turns out God had someone else in mind for me that day.

So instead I gave the cookies and water to our mail person.

The funny thing is, it wasn’t even our same mail person that day.

It’s always a woman but on this particular day it was a man.

Seeing that my note clearly said woman, he rang the doorbell and explained to me that she had the day off.

I told him the only reason I put woman was because I had seen her before and to please take it and he was so incredibly appreciative.

He thanked me, welcomed me to the neighborhood as he knew we just moved last year, and walked away with the biggest smile.

DAY 20:

Declan woke me up super early so I decided to go on a coffee run.

I was making my way down the usual road when I saw the man in his truck again!

Determined not to miss him this time and still having the card I had written him in my passenger seat, I grabbed a cookie for him at Starbucks and hurried back.

When I walked up to his truck with Declan in arms I saw him sitting there reading his bible.

I got his attention and he rolled down his window.

I handed him the card and cookie and he looked at me as though nobody had ever stopped for him before.

We chatted for a few moments until Declan got fussy and then I left.

DAY 21:

I surprised Derek’s office donuts.

It was actually really neat because the woman and the donut shop showed me a random act of kindness as well by giving me three extra donuts for free!

DAY 22:

I made a donation to Whittier First Day Homeless Care.

DAY 23:

ADT salesmen came to our door and it just so happens we were in the market for a security system.

It was about 3:30 pm and they had been out in the field all day.

We had just finished up our fantasy football draft and had a bunch of left over food so we offered it to the ADT men.

They politely declined at first but quickly changed their minds.

Next thing we knew we were in our kitchen laughing and telling stories with them as they chomped on chicken soft tacos.

It was really cool to be able to do something like that, especially for door-to-door salesmen who are used to people being rude to them.

DAY 24:

We still had so much food leftover so I made a care pack of it and we drove around trying to find a homeless person to bless with it.

We drove for over an hour but never saw anyone which was bizarre because we see people daily.

So instead we bought a scratcher at the gas station and taped it to the pump for someone to find and enjoy.

DAY 25:

Derek has an employee who has been going through a rough time recently and told him he only eats one meal a day.

So Derek took that care pack of food I made the day before and brought it to this man at work.

DAY 26:

As I was leaving the grocery store I saw a woman and her young daughter sitting outside in the shade.

I had seen her there once before with her sign and Derek had given her money previously.

But I didn’t have any cash on me so instead I put my groceries in the car and walked over to her.

I offered to bring her and her daughter inside with me and let them pick out something to eat for dinner but she told me she didn’t speak English and unfortunately, I don’t speak Spanish either.

But I worked through the language barrier enough to explain to her where I was going and to make sure chicken would be okay.

I went back into the store and bought her a whole rotisserie chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, cornbread, and water.

DAY 27:

I had seen a homeless man in the morning the previous day so I decided to go back and see if he was still there.

I went to Walmart to make a kit up for him.

For $35 I got him a towel, washcloth, deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrush/holder, tissue, bandaids, wet wipes, body wash, q-tips, hand sanitizer, Pringles, fruit bars, peanut butter, jelly, a loaf of bread, a gallon jug of water, and utensils.

When I approached him he was asleep so I put it all next to him and left.

But as I caught a glimpse of his face I noticed a big smile as he slept on the ground with so little to his name and it filled my heart with so much humility.

The sleeping man blessed me that day too.

DAY 28:

A friend had posted on Facebook that her son was doing a fundraiser  and really wanted to reach his goal so I decided to visit the website and support him by purchasing something.

I took the opportunity to make these items a little gift for my mom too as a congrats for starting her new job.

DAY 29:

I sent a “just cause” gift anonymously (I think!)

That was the plan, but it may have included my info anyway so we shall see.

DAY 30:

I made a plegde to Pay It Forward and I started by signing five other petitions on Causes.com.

DAY 31:

We left a $5 bill on our walk for someone else to discover.

We tried to take a picture but the memory on Derek’s phone was full and I accidentally left mine in the house.

…………………………….

I hope you feel inspired to go out there and do good.

Kindness is contagious and can not only make a big impact in other people’s lives, but in your own.

The heart is a muscle.

So put in the work and watch it grow.

Why You Need To Stop Complaining About The Ice Bucket Challenge

When my mom was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma I immediately went on the internet to learn everything I could about it.
Because it mattered.
Because it was my mom.
And because I had never heard of it before.
When I tell people that my mom has Multiple Myeloma they say, “oh?”
It isn’t until I throw out the word cancer that they pay any mind to it at all.
Then it’s, “I’m so sorry, that’s so awful!”
Because we all know what cancer is, generally speaking.

I don’t see athletes wearing burgundy during MM awareness month, nobody has bracelets that say “save the bone marrow!” and there certainly isn’t any kind of viral Facebook challenge raising awareness and funds for this crippling terminal cancer.
But I wish there was.
I wish more people got involved with everything instead of nothing or only the things that personally affect them.

By now none of us are strangers to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge that has been sweeping our news feeds by storm.
But what you may still be strangers to is the true impact of this movement.

Eye rollers unite!

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I know you’re popping them out at me right now.
But stop complaining about the drought or the narcissism or the non-Eco friendly bucket someone used and take a step back to learn why this movement started in the first place.

And then there’s this:

What An ALS Family Really Thinks About The Ice Bucket Challenge

Oh, and this:

And countless more I am sure.

Facebook is one of the largest media outlets in the world. 

I know hardly anyone who watches the news but everyone I know checks their Facebook.

Like it or not, the internet is a great platform for awareness of what is happening around the world as well as in our own backyards and I’m tired of hearing people complain about it.

Is California in a horrible drought?

Absolutely.

But tell me, have you started taking cold showers so as not to waste water while it warms up?
Have you protested going in swimming pools or spas?
Have you stopped boiling your food and instead adopted a raw diet in order to conserve?
If you truly are worried about the water crisis then shouldn’t these cut backs take precedent over complaining about using it for the ice bucket challenge (aka, a good cause)?
Wouldn’t protesting efforts be better placed over daily water wasting habits rather than a single isolated event in one’s life?

“People are only doing is at a narcissistic cry for attention!”

Maybe.

But if 5 people do it to look good in a video and 1 person learns something new and donates because of it then why do you care?
15 million dollars have been raised so far compared to the 1.7 million for all of last year.
So don’t tell me that it’s not making an impact because it is.

Personally, I think we should stand up against all killers whether they be law enforcement,
ISIS, or deadly diseases.

And if awareness means “jumping on the bandwagon” then sign my ass up every damn time.
Because I couldn’t care less how the word gets out there, only that it does.

Pretending that our world is represented by Buzzfeed quizzes and cute proposal videos is a misuse of our social media and skills.
We all have the power to make a difference.

Cancer, ALS, racism, terrorism, anti-semitism, etc. etc. etc.
Get involved!
Speak out, stand up.
Don’t hide behind a closed envelope donation or quiet support.
The more we share the more people we get to care and that creates a chain reaction.
So post your Ice Bucket Challenges proudly.
Get talking about things that are scary.
If you’re uncomfortable, then good!
It means you’re stepping outside of yourself and seeing the tragedies of this world.
Challenge others to do the same.
Because you ARE making a difference and together we can move mountains.

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I Will Always Wonder

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My friend Nikol (check out her blog here) posted the photo above this morning on her blog’s Facebook.
While today is just Tuesday to most, for several mourning families it is a reminder that they are not alone, that their lost children are not forgotten, and that every child conceived is a miracle whether they make it to this earth or not.

Losing our daughter made Derek and I part of a community that nobody ever wants to be in.
Miscarriage, stillborn, infant loss: It’s the booth at a fair that you pray to God stays empty.
But it doesn’t.
In fact, once you stop by you find out that it is even bigger than you could have possibly imagined and it makes your heart hurt.
Because the truth of the matter is that there are so many families out there who have lost a child.
So many left with a hole in their hearts.

I found this book at TJ-Max the other day and it broke me (so naturally, I bought it).

It’s called Love From My Heart To A Cuddly Little Boy.

Here are a few pages:

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“My heart would be searching for YOU!”

When I read this and saw all of the little angel children I couldn’t help but think of my own angel in Heaven.

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I still cry sometimes when I see a mom and her daughter wearing matching outfits.

Or when I see other little girls who are the same age she would have been.

I will always wonder how she may have looked, who she may have been.
I prayed and prayed for a day of hope and a lifetime was given to me with the birth of Declan.

But we still talk of her all the time.
We still remember.
And we love her very deeply.

To anyone who has lost their child, hold on to hope.

Hope that we will one day be reunited with our sweet angels.

In memory of Kinlie Marie.

Lost but never forgotten. 

 

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The Vegas Bikini

You could blame it on the new morning routine of 5:00 am wake up calls that has left me sleep deprived.
Or the mastitis that had been overwhelming my body.
Maybe it was because I had been dealing with a fevering, teething baby for three days.

I honestly don’t know if it was the exhaustion or the Super moon but doesn’t change the fact that I found myself at a one year old’s birthday party this past weekend in my Vegas bikini.

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It wasn’t.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around how the same girl who lives in jeans and a tank top managed to misrepresent herself so well.

While packing our bag in the morning I was in a hurry.
I grabbed the bikini off of the dryer along with Derek and Declan’s trunks, without really thinking about which one it was.
Once we got to the party, Declan was desperate to get in the pool.
And because the fates hate me, for the first time ever Derek did not want to get into the water.
So I grabbed my suit along with a cover up and went to change.
It wasn’t until I had even come back from changing that I had realized the gravity of the situation.
Derek said, “You brought your Vegas bikini?”

Shit.

I used Declan as a human shield to cover my body as I scurried quickly into the water.

I can only imagine how pretentious I looked in my bright green Victoria’s Secret suit and giant sun hat.

You know it’s bad when you’re thinking, “this bitch” about yourself.

Unfortunately for me but lucky in the situation, I don’t exactly fill out said bikini like the Victoria’s Secret model advertising it.

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I’m still asking my mom when my boobs are going to come in.

But boobs or no boobs I still felt like a giant one.

And while I may be banned from 1 year old pool parties for the rest of my life I at least learned a valuable lesson:

Victoria’s Secret bikinis should be stored in the naughty drawer to avoid uncomfortable situations like these.

Because Lord knows that thing is collecting dust.

(Just kidding).

But seriously.

I need to store my shit better.

Peace, love, and tanning grease!

Spending Time With Your Children: Guest Blog

Today I would like to introduce everyone to a friend of mine!

Meet Ricky.

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Daddy to Aven, boyfriend to Lindsey, and entrepreneur.
Derek and Ricky have known each other since they were kids so it was pretty cool when we found out we were going to be having our sons only two months apart.

Ricky recently approached me about doing a guest post and I was happy to oblige.
I love connecting with other people and that goes for the rest of my readers too.
If you’re a fellow blogger or even if you’re not and just have something you’d like to share, please feel free to message me and I would be happy to have you do a guest blog!

I enjoy Ricky’s blog as it is filled with lots of uplifting, motivational posts.
He really has a knack for inspiring people and I encourage you to check it out.
(If you would like to read more, you can hop on over to his blog here!)

Enjoy!

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SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN

As kids, spending time with mom or dad was a magical time.
Every child looks at their parents like they are true super heros.
They hang on every word of advice their dad offers them.
While being overwhelmed by the amount of love and joy their mother gives them.

Having a strong and powerful relationship with your children is essential for them to grow and become the best they can be. Parents play such a vital role in the development of their kids, whether thats a good role or a negative one. In today’s society A lot of families have lost that special touch. We are living a a fast pace environment, Where sit down dinners turned into fast food drive throughs. Where sharing stories of our day turned into staying silent and watching made up stories on television. Where spending time with our children was only the drive from home to the daycare.

A huge reason I believe this is happening is the demand of providing a life in today’s world. We need money for everything. Even for basic living sources such has water, food and shelter. What makes it worse is most are only taught how to work for money instead of having money work for them. With most jobs barely offering enough money to get by, most families are forced to have the father and mother both work long hours, almost every day, every month, year and year again.

To me this is unacceptable. That is why I have looked for opportunities that will allow me not just financial freedom but time freedom. I don’t just want to stop there either. I want to help as many other people and families achieve the same type of freedom. To bring back the comfort and joy of being a connected and unified family.

Wouldn’t you rather be the coach then the parent in the stands or the one that is at work?
Wouldn’t you rather be the one cooking your kids meals then a fast food restaurant who has signs warning of chemicals that have been known to cause cancer?
Wouldn’t you rather spend your time with your kids and your family then at some job?

There are more efficient and effected ways to earn an income while not sacrificing precious time in your children’s lives!

If your interested in hearing about these opportunities please contact me at: https://www.sfacebook.com/onethought11

About The Whole Breastfeeding Thing…

My body decided to round out World Breastfeeding Week (yes, it’s a real thing) with a nice case of mastitis which is a breast infection caused by a blocked duct.

I had it back when Declan was about two months old and both times it has sucked.
But I’ve got some antibiotics and should be better in a few days.

Anyway…

I always teeter totter back and forth on discussing my views of breastfeeding on here because the whole topic is so controversial.

But in honor of the week I decided to woman up and do it.

I’m going to calmly tread into the storm that is nursing and hope that everybody walks away with the right message.

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As a mother who has been breastfeeding for over a year now I am obviously a huge advocate for doing so.

You just can’t deny the science, the health, and the bond attached to it.

But I don’t post links about how mom’s who formula feed are lazy, selfish, and poisoning their children.

I don’t ever say things like, “breast is best”.

And I never take or post nursing selfies.

I’m not trying to be glamorous or admirable or to stick-it-to-the-man when I nurse.

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I do it to nourish and bond with my child.

The end.

There is no other reason.

It’s not about feminism to me, it’s about me and my son.

Primitively speaking, this is what I was designed to do.

Culturally speaking, I was raised to know that nursing your child is a good thing but so is being respectful to your environment.

More than that, nursing is a very special and personal experience for me.

In the home I grew up in, my father would have been absolutely mortified if he had walked in on me changing or seen any private part of my body exposed.

I was taught to treat my body as a temple and to guard it from the sick world we live in.

I treat my son’s body with the same respect in that I never post nude photos of him on the internet, no matter how adorable his little toosh may be.

My breasts are more than just boobs to me.

They are a part of my temple and they do more than just entertain my husband.

They nourish my child and provide him comfort.

It is such a beautiful thing and I can see why mothers want to share it with the world.

But for me personally, that beauty is something that should be protected.

I guard that beauty with my life because I want to preserve it and keep it safe.

I have nothing against a mother who proudly displays her breastfeeding in public.

Feeding your child is nothing to be ashamed of.

But I want to make it known that just because I choose to cover up does not mean that I am ashamed.

I will feed Declan whenever, wherever.

But I will do so proudly covered up.

And I shouldn’t be looked down on by moms doing the exact same thing as me just because I choose to do so.

I mean, really?

Being a mom is like being in high school all over again.

Only this is an all girl’s high school that has over 85 million women in attendance and all of their periods seemed to be synced.

It’s time to stop mommy bashing.

Why do we care so much either way?

Does it really ruin your entire day if you see someone nursing?

Is it the end of the world if you cover up your baby for five minutes while they eat?

It’s not okay to make other women feel like less of a mother for doing one or the other.

Talking down to people doesn’t make you an activist but it does makes you an asshole.

Nursing is not easy and I commend the women who have kept with it but I do not blame the ones that didn’t either.

Formula or breast, covered or uncovered; are these the type of things we want to teach our children are the most important?
I want my son to be kind, patient, and courageous.
I fear that in an effort to stand up for what we believe in sometimes we end up teaching our children hate and intolerance rather than love, respect, and kindness.

We deserve to feed our children however we see fit as long as our child is not in any harm from said methods.

I believe that my mother did her very best to raise me and loves me just as I love Declan.
I do not think she is less of a mother or lazy or careless because she chose not to continue breastfeeding past 6 weeks.

Don’t let your legacy be the way you shamed other women

Breastfeed or not, covered or uncovered, homemade food or pre-packed.

Being a mom has no instructional manual and we are all just trying to do the very best we can.

I hope you teach your children to speak, act, and live from a place of kindness.

Because not a single one of us is doing it all right.

And every single one of us deserves some slack, especially from one another.

31 Acts In 31 Days

I can always count on Derek to have good ideas.
Like building a bar around our hot tub or turning a salad into a sandwich with the side of bread they give you.
So when he randomly said to me the other day that I should do another round of my “30 Days of Deliberate Kindness” I was like:

So here we go!
Every day for the entire month of August (31 days) I will be doing a deliberate act of kindness.
Then I will share what I did each day at the beginning of September.

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If you’ve never done something like this before or even if you have I encourage you to join in.
Sometimes we have to step outside of ourselves and remember that this world is so much bigger than us and our troubles.

I look forward to sharing with you in a month!