8 Things You Should Know About Being A New Mom

Being a new mom is awesome…ly hard. With all of the classes, books, and tips they give you before the baby comes you would think hospitals would have a newborn crash course where they spend another 9 months teaching both you and your new baby how to coexist. But once that bundle of joy pops out of your body you are expected to already be a pro at things you have never actually experienced like breastfeeding, changing diapers on your protesting subject, and somehow stopping the blood curdling screams of a person you just met. While I won’t be able to physically help you through these hurdles I can hopefully offer up some comfort (or maybe just a good laugh) as I share with you what I learned about being a new mom from my own personal experience.

1. TEARS WILL BE SHED:

Believe it or not, you will find that you’re crying almost as much (if not more) than your newborn. You’re going to feel like this means that you’re a bad mother or that you don’t love your baby the way you’re “supposed” to. That’s not true. It’s just that breastfeeding is hard, sleep is scarce, and I SAID I NEEDED A COTTON SWADDLE, NOT THE POLYESTER!

 

Don’t worry.

Everyone has spent the last 9 months with your hormonal ass so they’ll be able to handle a few more weeks of it.

And it will pass.

2. YOU’RE GOING TO HURT ALL OVER:

I mentioned this after I had Declan, but I feel like it is not talked about enough. 5-10 lbs. of human just came out of your who-haw. Or even harder, if you had a c-section then you just went through major surgery. You will quite literally be crab walking around your home for a few weeks wearing nothing but sweat pants and maxi skirts. Did I mention the disposable shorts they call underwear and dinosaur sized pads they give you?

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And while I wish I could tell you that you’ll look as good as she does in these bad boys 24 hours postpartum, the truth of the matter is you’ll probably be looking more like this:

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But the good news is that as your uterus shrinks back down to normal size you will start to see that go down.

3. YOU’RE GOING TO BE EXHAUSTED:

No, not “I partied on a Sunday until 3 am and I have to be at work by 6 am for a day full of meetings” tired. I’m talking about a whole new bonus level of exhaustion that you didn’t even know existed. One where you legitimately wonder how you have not died yet because it does not seem physically possible to survive off of such little energy.

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It will be overwhelming and at times you won’t know how you’re going to make it through the day, but on the plus side you will have made a new best friend: Coffee. Coffee will become your very best friend.

4. YOU WILL BECOME “THAT PARENT”:

I don’t care who you are or what you claim now. Once you have that adorable babe in your arms you will find yourself physically unable to keep your thumb off of the camera button on your phone. The real struggle will then be to stop yourself from Instagraming each and every shot you take. Because your child is the cutest baby you have ever seen in your life and you want to make the world a better place by plastering that adorable smile all over it.

 

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5. EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION:

“When I had my kid…” is going to become the most popular starter sentence you will ever hear. Most of the time people mean well but it does get exhausting having everyone try to tell you how to raise your child. They will tell you that you are spoiling your baby, not holding them right, or that you need to let them cry. Take it all with a grain of salt and remember that nobody knows your baby like you do and no two kids are the same so what worked for them might not work for you and that’s okay.

6. YOU WILL GOOGLE ABSURD THINGS:

What color is a newborn’s poop supposed to be?

Why does my baby cry so much?

If my baby is exposed to rock music will they grow up to rebel against authority?

Can you die from hearing a newborn cry too much?

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You get my drift.

7. YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF UNABLE TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN YOUR NEWBORN:

It’s not your fault you made a super baby, am I right?

But after spending twenty minutes babbling about the cute way your little one blinks and eats and shits you will notice that your company may look a little less excited than you.

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But hey, you’re totally allowed to be annoying right now.

Just make sure to remember to ask them about their lives too.

8. YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME:

Before your newborn baby it was like,

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But now that you have that bundle of joy in your arms, your life will be more like this:

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Nobody said you had to give up everything, right?!

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Thirty-Four

I meant to post this yesterday but my baby brother graduated high school and I spent the evening celebrating rather than blogging.

I promise I didn’t forget though, so here we go!

Time for another addition of “How much more can Andi’s belly possibly grow?!”

**Note: I’m actually 35 weeks today. All posts will be a week behind**

34 WEEKS

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THE AWESOME:

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-FURNISHING-

Moving has given us the opportunity to upgrade a lot of our furniture.

We’ve always had a queen sized bed which is squished enough between the three of us.

[Tucker insists on sleeping in bed with us and who are we to say no?]

With Declan almost here we decided it was time to move on up to a Cal-King so that our bed could properly accommodate all of us.

We also bought a new TV and dining room set.

Our wallets may be hurting but our house is going to look great.

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-ACCEPTANCE VS. EXPECTATION-

Call me crazy, but I feel so prepared for birthing.

expect to have a smooth birth but I accept that anything can happen.

Before I took my prepared childbirth classes and started doing some relaxation techniques I was terrified.

Ring of Fire, Bloody Show, Labor.

All of these suggest something awful.

It’s no wonder women have such a horrifying experience.

They go into the situation already frightened of what is to come.

When I talk about birth now I feel so overcome with joy.

The fear of the process has melted away and I am ready to meet my baby.

I’ve heard a handful of horror stories [and I’m sure people will continue to tell them to me] but that was their birthing experience not mine, so there is no need to compare.

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THE AWKWARD:

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-DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT-


My belly has been low this entire pregnancy, making it extremely difficult to tell if I have “dropped” or not.

They say you will notice a space between your belly and your breasts, but I’ve had that space my entire pregnancy and can even still see my ribs.

However, the one thing that has dramatically changed in the past week leading me to believe that I have indeed dropped is the pressure on my bladder/pelvic bone.

When I go from a sitting to standing position I immediately have to pee, regardless of how long it’s been since I last did.

Also, I’ve started feeling like I have to almost lift my belly up to relieve the pressure.

It’s such a strange feeling and it makes going on hikes a nightmare.

I would know because we went on three over the weekend and every time I ended up spending over half of the hike holding my bladder because I had to pee so bad despite going right before we left.

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-PRE-LABOR?-

It is beginning to appear more and more like Declan is as impatient as we are and may make his appearance before July 3.

Around Thursday I started experiencing some mild cramping which I didn’t think too much of.

That is, until I started noticing sporadic back pains too.

They haven’t been consistent enough to cause major concern but apparently my body is getting ready for labor.

We are just hoping he waits until 37 weeks when I’m full term so that there aren’t any health issues.

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CRAVINGS:

Still ice cream.

I blame the weather.

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THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

Friday is my last day or work!

I will officially be on maternity leave which is excited but also weird.

What am I supposed to do with all of that time?

[I guess the correct answer to that would be pack]

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THINGS I MISS:

Berry wine spritzers.

The weather is so perfect for them.

Go have one in my honor!

Preferably by a pool or body of water.

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BABY NOTES:

Thirty-Three

In this countdown to Declan’s arrival the weeks feel shorter and the list of things to do feels longer.

None the less, the realization that I am only one month away from being considered “full term” is so exhilarating.

**Note: I’m actually 34 weeks today. All posts will be a week behind**

33 WEEKS

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THE AWESOME:

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-BANKING BLOOD-

I know there are a bunch of different opinions on this, but for my family personally this was a no brainer.

Derek and I both have cancer in our families along with other diseases, making the likelihood of us or our children getting them greater.

Additionally, my mom is in remission today because of a stem cell transplant, obviously making it research that I strongly support.

So naturally when I heard about the benefits of banking your child’s cord blood I jumped on it.

We decided to go with CBR and if you want more info on it you can check out their website here.

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-MATERNITY PICTURES-

Saturday we took our maternity pictures with our favorite photographer Theresia.

It was so much fun and I can’t wait to see how they all turned out!

Theresia will also be taking Declan’s newborn pictures so I’m really excited about that too.

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-RELAAAAAAX-

I’m not doing a hypnobirth per say, but I did decide to purchase a book/cd combo on it because of the relaxation techniques it offers.

Between drama and vocal lessons I learned a lot of breathing/relaxation methods growing up, but I thought it would be a good idea to brush up.

My friend Nikol who is 30 weeks pregnant is using this method and she posted on her blog about changing the way we talk about birth which I absolutely loved.

I really believe that our attitudes affect the outcome of situations so when I read her post, Hypnobirth Class #1 I became sold on the idea of changing my view of birth.

If you’re interested in learning more about it I think she will be doing weekly posts on her classes so I encourage you to check her blog out.

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-THE AWKWARD-

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-VERTIGO-

On Friday while at work I suddenly came down with a dizzy spell.

I couldn’t see, I was sweating, my head was spinning, and I was having trouble breathing.

This has actually happened on two other occasions during my pregnancy but what made it different this time was that it lingered and refused to leave.

I ended up calling the nurse line and they told me that since I was so far along in my pregnancy I needed to come into Labor and Delivery so they could check me out.

Too dazed to drive, I called my parents and thankfully my dad just so happened to be home from work that day.

If you know my mom and dad then you know that they are very protective of their little girl [me] so I really shouldn’t have been surprised when my dad walked into my office to guide me outside like I was ten, rather than just texting me that he was outside.

Laughing I said:

“I’m a 25 year old woman with a baby on the way and my dad just picked me up from work as if he was picking me up from daycare.”

But in all seriousness, I love my parents and am so grateful that they were quick to my rescue.

I ended up spending over 4 hours in the hospital as they ran a series of tests.

Declan was kicking away the entire time and his heartbeat was perfect so I was relieved to know that he was just fine.

Me on the other hand…

Turns out that when I’m sitting for too long [aka when I’m at work] the blood flow from my legs gets blocked by this big old belly and doesn’t make it up to my brain, causing a nice case of vertigo.

Solution?

Lay down when this happens.

So I will be carrying a blanket with me at work for my remaining weeks.

On the plus side, they decided they wanted to feed me and I was originally going to get a standard sandwich, but some other woman on the floor decided she wasn’t hungry the minute her meal came up so they offered me hers instead.

Not pictured is the chocolate pudding behind the Styrofoam lid.

I told Derek I should start going to the hospital weekly for “pains” just so I can get this free lunch out of them.

[Kidding of course]

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-INSOMNIA-

Declan and my body must be preparing me for his arrival because this past week I’ve been waking up around 12-1 am and find myself wide awake for at least an hour.

He kicks the entire time and I lay in bed scanning Pinterest for home ideas.

It has made getting through my days more difficult but I suppose it’s good practice for what is to come.

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-LOVE YOU FOREVER-

This is one of my all time favorite children’s books and Derek’s Nanny got it for us and wrote a special message inside.

I decided I wanted to bring it to the photo shoot and on the way I discovered that Derek had never read it.

I began reading it quietly and sobbing.

“I forgot how emotional this book is!”

Naturally, Derek began laughing at me and demanded I read it aloud to him.

I started to but my tears kept interrupting me every time I got to the song:

“I’ll love you forever,

I’ll like you for always,

As long as I’m living

My baby you’ll be”

Finally I told Derek he would have to read the rest because I couldn’t get through it again.

Laughing, he began to read the last three pages out loud and within seconds he had tears streaming down his face.

It was such a sweet/hilarious/awkward moment when we both realized we had been bested by a children’s book.

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CRAVINGS:

Strawberry ice cream

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THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

A three day weekend filled with lots and lots of packing!

This is pretty much our only weekend left to pack before we move so we will be barricading ourselves inside to get everything done.

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THINGS I MISS:

Iced Tea.

I’m going to have to go buy some caffeine free bags because the weather is too perfect to not have some.

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BABY NOTES:

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Here’s to a three day weekend!

Thirty-Two

I’m officially eight months pregnant and am absolutely feeling it.

It doesn’t help when it’s hotter than Hades in Southern California either.

Yesterday I left the doctors office with a baby fever of 99.6 which was probably due to this awful weather.

Why did we skip spring and go straight to summer?

I’m not a fan.

But enough about that.

We’ve got a baby to talk about!

**Note: I’m actually 33 weeks today. All posts will be a week behind**

32 WEEKS

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THE AWESOME:

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-HOME SWEET HOME-

I’m so thrilled to report that we got the house!

God definitely had His hand in it too, because the selling agent told our agent that there was another offer that was the same as ours with a little more cash down but the seller chose ours because the agent informed them that I am 8 months pregnant.

[Our agent told her]

We had our inspection on Saturday and there were no major issues, so everything is a go and we should expect to move in by the beginning of June!

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-MOTHER’S DAY-

Last year Mother’s Day was spent bawling my eyes out on the way home from the half marathon, still trying to grasp the news we had received two days before about our sweet baby.

This year was much more cheerful.

We took my mom and dad to breakfast.

Packed some boxes.

And Derek surprised me by taking me to my favorite lunch spot/Yogurtland, getting me a 90 minute prenatal massage, and making me dinner.

It was a really nice and relaxing day and I’m so grateful to have such a loving husband who spoils me.

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THE AWKWARD:

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-ARE YOU THE BUYER?-

So like I said, we had our inspection on Saturday.

Derek went to work for a little in the morning so I met him at the house.

When I got there he told me that not one but two agents had been there within the past half hour showing our house to other families.

[Mind you, the house is pending with multiple back up offers]

And the second agent approached Derek and said:

“Are you the buyer?”

To which he responded yes.

She then said:

“Oh. My clients are really hoping you don’t get this house.”

She was kidding [we think] but the way she said it was very rude.

So that happened.

Then around 2 pm we were in the kitchen waiting for our inspector to finish and ANOTHER agent came in with a middle aged couple.

“Are you the buyer?”

Me: Yes we are and we actually have an inspection going on right now.

“Oh yes I know. We are going to look around anyway okay?”

I wanted to say:

“No it’s not okay, get out of my house!”

But alas I did not.

As they were leaving she said:

“It’s a beautiful home, good luck.”

And in this moment I realized how cut throat the real estate business is, especially right now.

There I was, clearly very pregnant, happily sitting in my new kitchen with my husband and this women was treating it like the bidding war was still open.

I told Derek that it was unhealthy how bothered I was by all of the agents that day and he laughed.

Luckily we have a solid loan so I’m not worried about anything falling through and I eventually shook it off.

Damn vultures.

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-OCD PACKING-

I blame nesting for this but I have become a tad OCD in terms of packing.

I literally brought home a three page print out with step by step instructions on how to pack, what to pack together, etc.

I’ve been color coordinating all of the boxes by room and numbering them by priority.

And anyone who knows me is aware that this is very out of the ordinary for me.

I’m the girl who throws everything into one big box and says we’ll separate it later!

I actually sort of like it though.

This new found desire to have everything super organized has forced me to purge a lot of crap in our house.

It’ll be nice to have a clutter-less new home.

That is, until baby toys take over.

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CRAVINGS:

Ice cream.

I want it all day, every day.

Specifically strawberry ice cream, which I have never gone out of my way to eat before in my life.

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THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

Taking our maternity photos this weekend!

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THINGS I MISS:

This week I am just grateful for my son.

Nothing I have had to sacrifice holds a candle to him.

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BABY NOTES:

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Here’s to 8 months!

Thirty-One

Oh heyyyyy.

I hate secrets, so I guess I should just tell you now that we put an offer in on a house.

They countered, we agreed, and now we are just waiting to hear back to see if our offer was accepted or not.

We should actually know by today, tomorrow at the very latest, so prayers and good vibes are much appreciated!

In other news:

There is a baby in my belly and he is getting huge!

**Note: I’m actually 32 weeks today. All posts will be a week behind**

31 WEEKS

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THE AWESOME:

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-CERTIFIED IN PREPARATION-

Okay let’s be honest, everyone gets a certificate, even R. Kelly.

[Don’t worry, you’ll understand that reference once you get to the “awkward” section of this post]

But still, I am happy to say that we “passed” our prepared childbirth classes and are officially knowledgeable parents to be!

Seriously, we learned so much and I feel really at ease and ready now.

Breathing?

Laboring positions?

Breastfeeding?

I got this shit.

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-PREPPING THE NEST-

Ironically two days before we found this house and put in an offer Derek and I decided that we needed to stick to our original plan which was:

“If we don’t find a house by May we will start to decorate Declan’s room and get it ready.”

So we made a trip to Ikea, bought this awesome thingy mabobber, assembled it, and put a bunch of adorable stuff in it.

I am honestly in love with the way it came out and if we have to reassemble it in another house in a month that is fine by me.

I’ve begun washing and organizing all of his teeny tiny outfits too which Derek is jealous of.

“You’re ironing his clothes? You never iron my clothes!”

ME: “Well he can’t do it himself and you can.”

“Oh so it’s going to be like that is it?!”

Hilarious.

Realizing that realistically he can be here as soon as I am full term which is only 6 weeks away has put me into nesting overload and I sort of like it.

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THE AWKWARD:

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-FEELIN’ ON YO BOOTY-

That is the title of just one of the countless R. Kelly hits we have come to know and love.

As I’m sure we have all been changed by his lyrics

[Need I remind you of “I Believe I Can Fly”  which historically helped Michael Jordan beat the alien slavers in Space Jam]

It comes as no surprise that we would all want to immortalize his legacy by getting a sloppy tattoo of his name on our ankles.

No?

Guess it’s just the short, freckled, ginger dad-to-be in our class then.

He had an R. Kelly tat on his ankle, a Neo tat on his wrist, and two other names on the other wrist/ankle that I was never able to make out.

Oh and the best part about R. Kelly [that’s what we called this ginger man] is that he had a question about everything.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s wonderful that he wanted as much information as possible for himself and his wife.

But when he started to repeat questions/ask things she had just answered I wanted to shove my banana peel down his throat.

Which would have been completely reasonable of me considering the amount of hormones pumping through my veins.

They are a free pass to be outrageous, duh.

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-RIB PAIN-

I had hoped that since Declan is hanging so low that I would get to skip this unpleasantness but that is not the case.

Often times he is so stretched out that I can feel his feet on my ribs and his head/hands all the way down on my bladder.

The rib kicks hurt and the bladder pushes make me instantly have to pee.

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CRAVINGS:

Chocolate flavored coconut water.

One of my best friends Kaiti recommended coconut for the heartburn I have been having so I grabbed this at the store and haven’t been able to stop drinking them since.

It tastes identical to chocolate milk, only more refreshing.

And since I have been craving chocolate like a maniac as well it is perfect.

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THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

Hearing back about the house, my childhood friend’s baby shower this weekend, and Mother’s Day.

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THINGS I MISS:

As swimsuit season approaches I can’t help but miss my body a little bit.

My flat tummy has been traded for a rather large one, but the gift inside it is so worth it.

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BABY NOTES:

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I hope everyone has a good week.

Here’s to hopefully getting some good news today!

Twenty-Nine

I’d like to start by warning you that this is a photo heavy post.

We had such an eventful week and pictures make everything more interesting, so hopefully you’ll go right along with it.

P.S. I passed my glucose test and only gained 2 lbs this past month so it looks like not eating brownies on the daily actually is the way to go!

**Note: I’m actually 30 weeks today. All posts will be a week behind**

29 WEEKS

THE AWESOME:

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-BABY D, IN 3D/4D- 

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Be still my heart, on Saturday we got to see Declan in 3D/4D and he is even more perfect than I remembered.

Unfortunately, he was extremely comfortable and we were not able to get him to move around enough for us to really see more than his profile.

They had us come back in an hour to see if he would be more active then but once we finally got him moving he decided to cover his face with his hands.

Luckily they are letting us come back on Thursday to try again so hopefully he will be nice and awake for us then.

It’s a bummer that my in-laws won’t be in town anymore to see it but I’m happy they got to at least see his profile and hear his heartbeat.

It’s so crazy being able to actually see your baby’s physical features.

Declan looks just like Derek from the lips to the nose to the hairline.

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When I saw his little hands and face on the screen it made me that much more anxious for him to be here in my arms.

I can’t wait to see my little love again on Thursday.

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-BABY SHOWER-

Our generous host!

This weekend Derek’s grandparents threw us a baby shower/birthday party for Derek.

It was so hot outside but luckily we had a lot of shade pockets in their front yard.

My mamas

The party was camping themed and I love the way everything turned out.

In case you’re wondering, the “Big Foot, Little Foot” thing was supposed to represent Derek [Big Foot] and Declan [Little Foot] since it was a joint party.

A big crowd came out to celebrate the two most important guys in my life that day and it was so wonderful.

Thank you to everyone who came!

The party ended up lasting almost 5 hours, which is crazy, and I was so tired by the end.

Declan’s room was filled to the brim with presents, all of which we opened when we got home.

To say he got hooked up would be an understatement.

We truly have the greatest family and friends and it is amazing to see how much Declan is already loved by everyone.

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-HAPPY BIRTHDAY!-

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Sunday Derek turned 26 and we celebrated in true adult fashion with ice cream and magic!

Derek’s mom took us to Farrell’s which is pretty much the coolest ice cream parlour on earth.

The employees sing songs, run around the restaurant, and bang giant drums.

We had the most delicious banana split [known as the Pig’s Trough] and they even sang an embarrassing song to Derek for finishing it.

And because no ice cream parlour birthday celebration would be complete without it, Derek got a penguin balloon animal hat.

Speaking of the hat, Tucker really wanted it to be his.

Later that night it was time for my present to Derek:

A trip to the famous Magic Castle in Hollywood.

The magic castle is a very exclusive magicians club and the only way to get in is to be invited by a member.

I managed to snag a guest pass and took Derek, his parents, and my parents.

The mansion itself is really awesome and there are magicians just walking around showing people magic tricks.

We had dinner, saw two shows, and it was a magical time.

[See what I did there?]

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THE AWKWARD:

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-COLOR ME EXHAUSTED-

I am a firm believer in listening to my body but sometimes I get so busy that I ignore it.

Sure enough I hit a brick wall last week as my body screamed, “slow down!”

I had to take a half day on Wednesday and ended up taking the entire day off Thursday and I finally felt better by Friday.

But then the weekend came.

Between only sitting down for a total of 10 minutes my entire baby shower and staying up way too late both Saturday and Sunday I’ve found myself right back where I was.

Luckily this weekend Saturday is our only busy day so I’m hoping to catch up on some much needed rest before my body shuts down on me again.

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-TUM, TUM, TUM, TUM-

Apparently my stomach is practically reaching my throat these days thanks to my expanding uterus, so it’s no surprise that I’ve added a new symptom to my list:

Heartburn.

I’ve had heartburn so little in my lifetime that I couldn’t even identify it at first.

But yep, it’s here and it sounds like it could be staying until delivery which is no bueno.

Looks like I better stalk up on some Tums.

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CRAVINGS:

I could probably eat ice cream every single day of my life and never get tired of it.

I would also be 500 lbs. but that’s not the point.

While I haven’t been eating it more than once or twice a week I am craving it daily.

I’m also still all about those red/yellow apples.

Yum.

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THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

Seeing Declan again on Thursday, prepared childbirth classes, and Veis & Carolyn’s engagement party this weekend!

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THINGS I MISS:

Sleep still.

Friday/Sunday look hopeful though.

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BABY NOTE:

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Here’s to more time with my little man tomorrow!

Twenty-Eight

First and foremost I have to give a shout out to my first baby boy Tucker who turned three on Sunday!

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A long hike, big bone, and a new toy made him one happy little prince.

Secondly I’d like to give a shout out to the third trimester!

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Wait, am I really in the third trimester?

This pregnancy feels like it is flying by!

I’m trying to remember to soak up each moment even though I am beyond anxious to meet my little man already.

**Note: I’m actually 29 weeks today. All posts will be a week behind**

28 WEEKS

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THE AWESOME:

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MI FAMILIA-

My in-laws got in on Sunday!

We’ve been hitting up every delicious restaurant we can think of, playing Apple to Apples, and just enjoying catching up.

I so wish I had taken some time off of work to really hang out with them but alas maternity leave is only a month and a half away so I couldn’t.

Still, it’s so great having them at our house for the week and hopefully I can get Declan to give them some good kicks.

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BOOZE CRUISE-

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Back in January it was our good friend Veis’s birthday and his fiance Carolyn bought tickets for us to all go on a wine cruise.

Well thanks to schedule conflicts it kept getting pushed back but we finally went last weekend!

The experience itself was incredibly relaxing, even if I was only drinking grape juice, and it was a blast hanging out with our friends.

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-MATERNITY-

We officially booked our maternity photo shoot with the amazing Theresia Villanueva of Villux.

Theresia took our baby announcement photos for both pregnancies and we absolutely adore her.

Not only is she incredibly talented but she is so nice and she makes the entire session so much fun.

So excited!

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-GREEN EGGS AND HAM-

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As you can see, my three boys are already the best of friends.

And feeling Declan kick while Derek reads to him might be one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced.

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THE AWKWARD:

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-TRUMAN-

After the wine cruise on Saturday we walked into the actual wine bar that they have to get change.

There were two ladies sitting to my right and they immediately started chatting me up when they noticed I was pregnant.

“Oh you’re so cute, congratulations! I have a ten month old at home.”

She was happily talking about her son and Derek chimed in the conversation too.

Then she asked if we knew what we were having, we said boy, and she proudly proclaimed:

“I have a boy too, his name is Truman.”

Derek immediately chuckles and says, “That’s funny” before realizing what he has done.

Both of the women laugh uncomfortably and say,

“Why is that funny? Is your name Truman? Do you know someone who’s son is also named Truman?”

Now mind you, they just HANDED Derek an out.

Maybe nerves are to blame but he doesn’t take it.

Instead he points to our friends Carolyn and Veis and says:

“No, uh, my friends just got a puppy and they named him Truman.”

I tried to diffuse the situation by talking about what a strong name it was but it was too late.

Truman’s mama threw out an angry chuckle, then immediately made eye contact with me.

Through her fiery eyes she cackled:

“So you’re almost due right? Like April or May?”

I politely told her I was due July 3, she said congrats, and the conversation was over.

Moral of the story:

Do not let your husband tell a woman that her son and a household pet share names.

She knows how to hit the core of you and she will out of pure spite.

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 -WHERE IS MY FILTER?-

[Source]

One of the things I love about house hunting is getting to see how each home has a different personality.

This weekend we went to five houses in one day which was a lot.

One house we went to was having an open house later that day but we got there early with our agent.

It had an old cottage feel to it on the outside with a big window in the front looking into the kitchen.

We noticed a candle was  lit so we rang the doorbell but nobody was home so our agent went around the side to get the lock box to open the house.

While he was doing that I noticed that there was a note next to the candle.

I peered into the window, squinted my eyes, and started to read the note aloud.

“Please enjoy a warm brownie, don’t mind if I fucking do!”

You can see where the note ended and my word vomit began.

I’d like to point out that my volume and excitement level both increased as I read the note and I turned around to find our real estate agent standing right there.

I was so embarrassed but luckily he laughed it off.

When we got inside he then insisted I have not one, but two brownies since I’m pregnant and clearly wanted one.

Oops.

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CRAVINGS:

Still apples.

There are these specific red/yellow ones that I’m really obsessed with right now.

Also ice cream/frozen yogurt.

I haven’t been acting on it, but I just found a few recipes that involve healthy ingredients so I think I’ll make a go at those this week.

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THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

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This weekend we get to see Declan again in 3D/4D, it’s our baby shower/Derek’s birthday party, AND I’ve got quite the surprise up my sleeve for Derek on his actual birthday on Sunday.

It’s going to be such a great weekend, I can’t wait!

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THINGS I MISS:

Sleep.

We have been swamped these past few weekends and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

I’m trying to at least find little pockets here and there on the weekends where I can sneak in a 30 minute nap.

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BABY NOTE:

That’ll Teach Ya Not To Buy The Cheap Diapers

My life is composed of more than just growing a baby, even if it may not seem like it anymore.

And now that I’ve said that I don’t know if it was to convince you or to convince myself.

I never understood before how pregnancy could be so time consuming, so life consuming.

It’s similar to getting married, only in my case, with a lot more breakdowns and hurdles to jump.

I spend a lot time thinking about the cute clothes he will wear, the stories I will read to him, the games we will play, and the adventures we will take together.

But if I’m being totally honest I think about much more than that.

I wonder if I will measure up to the incredible moms I know already.

I think about how I will respond when he won’t stop crying for hours at a time.

And I contemplate what he will say about me when he is older.

Will he tell his future spouse that his mom was great or instead that she fell short?

Raising another human being is serious business.

And there are so many things to think about in terms of newborn babies that it can be very overwhelming.

Breastfeed or no?

Cloth or disposable diaper?

Swaddle or not?

Natural or epidural?

As if one day he is going to tell his kids:

“My mom really screwed me up because she drugged herself up for my birth, used disposable diapers instead of cloth, only breastfed for 6 months, and swaddled the crap out of me.”

[Source]

It’s ridiculous when I really think about it.

To somehow think that my love for him is measured in any way, shape, or form by such trivial things.

A popular one is the big B.P. [Birth Plan]

A lot of people have asked me what my birth plan is and I presume that the closer I get to my due date the more I will be asked this.

My response is simple:

“To get him out safely.”

Whatever has to take place to make that happen I will be prepared for.

That is my one and only concern for the day I give birth to my son.

Their reply is usually:

“Well duh.  But like, are you doing natural, drugs, C-section?”

Tell me, why are we all so concerned with how a woman delivers her baby?

Or whether she is going to breastfeed or not?

Or what brand wipes she uses to clean their ass?

Why am so concerned with what you think about my choices for my baby?

Well guys, I’m not anymore.

And if you want to jump on trampolines and drown yourself in a pool of vodka jello shots while pregnant I will keep my mouth shut as well.

Far too much of our energy is spent judging other people for their decisions rather than focusing on our own.

But maybe just don’t Instagram a photo of yourself on said trampolines with said jello shots and I promise I won’t post myself picking out a breast pump or flaunting which diapers I decided on.

Let’s get back to the basics where a healthy, happy, baby is all that really matters.

[Source]

Here’s to babies and the mamas who do their best.

Twenty-Seven

In case anyone was wondering, this is what would have happened if Fievel had gone South rather than West.

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Between this guy and a home where the original owner had just died in it I would say our hunt this weekend was less than successful.

And now that you’re nice and hungry, have you ever been to Which Wich?

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It’s essentially Subway, if Subway didn’t suck.

They have all different kinds of bags [turkey, chicken, italian, veggie, etc] and from there you customize what you want on it, give it to them, and they make it for you.

We discovered it two weeks ago while house hunting because we wanted to try a local spot since we plan on living in the area and we’ve been two weekends in a row now.

It may make another appearance in our belly’s for this Saturday’s hunt, you never know.

[It probably will].

I hope I’ve convinced you to find one.

Now on to the Bump-Date!

**Note: I’m actually 28 weeks today. All posts will be a week behind**

27 WEEKS

[Please don’t mind my crazy eyes in the photo]

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THE AWESOME:

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-I DO-

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This weekend we had the pleasure of attending our friend’s Ken and Jill’s wedding.

It was a very romantic wedding and they even made a short film about their love story which was incredible and made me cry.

Plus they had a photo booth which was so much fun!

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I’m so happy we got to celebrate with them!

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-I’VE GOT THE BUG-

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The shopping bug that is.

Whoever says boys clothes are not as fun to buy is so wrong.

I walked into a Carter’s this weekend just to look since it was right next door to Which Wich and I walked out with all of these clothes.

Derek reminded me that I should probably cool it until after our baby shower, otherwise people won’t have anything else left to get us!

But here are some things I am in love with right now.

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Wish List & Their Links:

1. Giraffe Cloud B Sound Machine Soother: I’m very musical so I love the idea of getting Declan something to put him to sleep that involves music.

2. Football Hat: I die every time I see this. It must be mine. It just must.

3. Diaper Bag: I really love the idea of having a diaper bag that doesn’t scream, “Yes I am a mom and now I have no fashion sense because of such”. Lol

4. Crib Mobile: It matches his room oh so perfectly.

5. Glider Pillow: Derek’s mom always sang this song to him when he was little. I love the idea of keeping the tradition going and I love this throw pillow.

6. Alligator Throw Blanket: This is the bedding I want for little man. Hot damn I hope it’s still around in the next few months. I may end up just buying this now haha.

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-I SEE YOU, BABY-

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Speaking of things I love, Derek’s dad Dennis just bought us our baby monitor and I could not be more excited!

It’s crazy to think that in just a few short months we will be using it.

We also got to go to dinner with Dennis and catch up which was really nice and overdue.

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THE AWKWARD:

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-STRIPPER NAMES AND MOOD SWINGS-

Sunday Derek and I were driving to Sam’s Club to get dog food and a few other things.

I was cranky because I was hungry and sleepy and was complaining about something.

One way or another the conversation shifted to what Derek’s stripper name would be.

 [because naturally a conversation would go from food to stripper names in 2 seconds]

Derek’s family calls him Der Der [pronounced dur, dur] so I proudly proclaimed:

“Your name would be Der-Der-icious!”

I then proceeded to lose my shit.

I could not stop laughing and kept saying,

“It’s so funny! I’m so funny!”

I ended up laughing so hard that I was crying and couldn’t see the road through my tears.

This lasted for a good 3 minutes before I was finally able to compose myself.

I guess that’s what they mean when they talk about going from one extreme emotion to another during pregnancy.

For the record, I still think Der-Der-icious is some of my best work.

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-MATCH MAKER, MATCH MAKER, MAKE ME A MATCH-

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Derek and I often end up matching our outfits on accident so this is nothing new for us.

What’s funny/awkward however is that on this particular day, we had three different people throughout the day comment on it.

“How cute you’re matching!”

“Yeah we always end up doing that on accident but when we need to match we never do.”

“I’m so jealous, that’s so sweet!”

Then there was a guy who said something about us still celebrating St. Patrick’s Day together and another girl who thought it was “adorable” that we match.

So random.

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-OUCH, CHARLIE-

My new body hates me.

Back pains started this week, my sciatica feels like it has gotten worse, and we’ve just added leg cramps to the equation.

I’ve actually had really bad calf cramps since I was a kid.

It feels like my muscles are grinding together and the pain is excruciating.

Once [long before I was pregnant] Derek actually picked me up and took me to the urgent care because he was so concerned about them.

The doctors have never been able to find out why exactly I get them so bad and so often.

So when I read that you can get leg cramps in pregnancy I knew I was screwed.

Sure enough, these past couple weeks they have come on full force.

Just this week I had at least two.

I wake up screaming and Derek instinctively goes straight to my leg to massage it out and help me stand up because it happens that often.

He manages to forget the whole thing by the morning but I am usually left with a horribly sore calf muscle which in turn keeps me out of the gym that day.

If anyone knows of any remedies for this I am willing to try just about anything!

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-MILK-

This is gross to me, but according to Derek:

“Everyone knows that is what happens babe.”

Okay fine.

But I was just laying in bed minding my own business and all of a sudden I felt something wet on my chest, only to discover that it was in fact my boob…

Leaking.

No book can prepare you for when the symptoms start actually happening to you because it is awkward as shit.

I will leave it at that.

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CRAVINGS:

Apples and pesto, separately.

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THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

Sunday Sunday Sunday!

Can’t wait to see my in-laws!

Hopefully Declan will give them some good kicks while they are here.

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THINGS I MISS:

Iced Tea.

I used to guzzle it down nonstop.

Also my feet.

It’s getting harder and harder to see them while standing.

Who knows what kind of shenanigans they are up to without me watching them all the time.

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BABY NOTE:

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Here’s to family!

Twenty-Six

Is it just me or are the weeks somehow getting shorter?

The third trimester is creeping up on me and I’m finding myself with so much left to do.

It’s a good thing I work well under pressure because pressure is what I’m working with!

Luckily I can cross “send out baby shower invitations” off the list today thanks to my mom slaving over them the past two days.

She did such a great job and it made me all the more excited for the party when I saw them this morning!

Seriously, how cute are these?

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Yes I colored out the address.

You can never be too careful these days!

Anyway, on to the Bump-Date.

**Note: I’m actually 27 weeks today. All posts will be a week behind**

26 WEEKS

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[There is an explanation for my outfit, which you will see below]

THE AWESOME:

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-THE FLASHLIGHT TRICK-

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Seeing as this is my first rodeo, I have been relying fiercely on my pregnancy apps on my phone.

One of them said that your baby’s eyes have opened by this point and if you shine a flashlight on your belly they may respond to it.

Derek and I decided to give it a try and it actually works!

Declan either really loves the light or really hates it because he would kick the exact spot where we were shining the light.

Derek would do it on one side and then move the light to the other side of my belly and we could actually see/feel Declan rolling around and readjusting to try and get to where the light was shining to kick it.

So much fun and I highly recommend it to anyone at this point in their pregnancy.

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-EASTER-

Sunday was a really nice day.

We went to church in the morning and then headed to Derek’s grandparents house for brunch.

Every year Derek and I hide the Easter eggs and every year we manage to hide anywhere from 3-10 eggs just a little too well.

His grandparents will be finding eggs for months to come thanks to us.

After that we went to my parents for dinner and I finally got to meet my two and a half month old nephew!

We tried to do the flashlight trick for my mom, but Declan only gave us a tiny little kick.

I think it’s because we used a small flashlight instead of the big one we use at home, so if you try the trick I would recommend using a bigger flashlight for it.

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-V.P.-

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The significance of my shirt is simple.

It is Derek’s family business, where he is currently employed, and where he will retire.

This week his grandpa [the President of the company] officially promoted him to Vice President.

Many times in a family business the “heir to the thrown” is just sort of handed it, but that was not the case with Derek.

His grandpa made sure that he learned how to do everything in the company first hand and he has worked incredibly hard to get to where he is now.

It’s so exciting to watch my husband succeed and I am so proud of him!

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-PRE-APPROVAL-

We got our pre-approval letter in the mail this week for our home loan so we are amped!

Now if only the perfect home in the perfect neighborhood would pop up…

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THE AWKWARD:

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-LEANING TOWER OF BABY-

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That’s my belly [sorry if that’s weird]

And as you can see, one side is clearly higher than the other.

Declan loves to bundle up on one side at a time.

I’ve talked to some other moms who say their babies did the same thing so I guess I’m not alone here which is good.

But it is the weirdest thing to wake up and see your belly like that.

My mom says it means he is going to be a cuddle bug.

I sure hope so, because I love me some cuddies.

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-MISS ME, TOILET?-

I wish I was exaggerating here but I am not.

I go to the restroom and do my cleansing routine nightly.

I will pee, wash my face, toner, moisturize, and by the time I am done I have to pee again.

That is less than 5 minutes between peeing.

How is that physically possible?

I don’t know, but it sure is awkward.

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CRAVINGS:

Same as last week.

[Pb, banana, cinnamon on wheat toast]

I’ve been trying really hard to keep my sweet tooth in check.

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THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

Our friends Ken and Jill are getting married this weekend so I’m excited to celebrate with them!

Also, we are going on our first “official” house hunt with our real estate agent this weekend and a trip to Slater’s 50/50 is happening so it’s going to be an awesome weekend.

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THINGS I MISS:

This week I have really missed coffee.

Technically you can have a small cup a day and be totally fine, but I used to be addicted so I took this as my chance to curb the habit.

Still, on busy weeks like this one I long for an iced coffee.

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BABY NOTES: